I think I blog for the wrong reasons. I don’t wanna do anything for the wrong reasons.
When I sit down to blog it’s after about 12 times of thinking I should do it and then not doing what I should. Each of these times then carries with the “should” obligation an extra layer of guilt. So by the time I sit and write (besides the expanse of time that’s impossible to adequately cover) I’m doing it mostly out of guilt--to avoid that 13th or 14th layer that’ll come if I don’t.
So that’s my confession.
Missionary kid at 6, grew up in church two/three days a week, spoonfed the Gospel and never once gagged. I’ve known about confession and repentance for a long long time. But I just got a little refresher from “Desperate Housewives.” Lousie and I bought the bootlegged 1st season of the show from a street vendor in Kampala. The confession and repentance lesson didn’t involve buying a pirated TV series; nor did it involve watching a risqué and inappropriate TV series (some might think confession and repentance is due for both those reasons--but it’s not possible to find genuine dvd’s for sale in Uganda, and so far, we’re intrigued by the realistic--though disturbing--moral perspectives of the people who sometimes do risqué and inappropriate things, but the show itself is a decent morality play that’s as much of a video page-turner as 24 or Prison Break). So the little refresher was a priest telling an unrepentant woman who doesn’t want to confess, but also doesn’t want to go to hell, that her confession, if made, must be followed by genuine repentance and genuine effort not to sin again.
I’m stretching a bit--I don’t wanna qualify my unfaithful and guilt-ridden and sometimes binge blogging as sin. But I’m confessing those faults, and I’m now going to try to live in genuine repentance and get something out here on a much more healthy, weekly basis.